The universe is needling me today

The universe is needling me today, probably in retaliation for my teasing of Helen last week. Figures. Karma and all that. Giggle Helen, giggle.

It seems that the universe is bound and determined to annoy me today. What is my problem? It’s been a good day. I ran interference for a plumbing problem at the house that I was just sure was going to be so costly we’d never be able to sell the house (not that we’re planning to just now) and it ended up costing a hundred bucks. I am worshiping at the altar of Rotor Rooter today! It’s been a fabulous day. Nonetheless, I’m as crotchedy as I can be. I wrote two other entries I don’t dare print. I have a lot of those. I tell you, if somebody ever invented a virus that published one’s drafts (including email drafts); I’d be cooked.

Anyway, I got this PR piece that broke this camel’s back. The PR gods can’t say I’ve never done anything for them. Here is this gem, in it’s entirety.

Prescriptives, the cosmetics brand that embraces all women, all skins, and all ages has created a fantastic tool to help find your PERFECT mascara. Prescriptives presents LASH FINDER, the interactive site that will help you create the look you want with the mascara that’s best for you. Four “how-to” videos featuring Prescriptives’ Director of Artistry and QVC® spokesperson, Jillian Veran will help you choose the right lash look:

  • 24-Hour Lashes (featuring Here To Stay 24-Hour Longear Mascara)
  • Long Luxe Lashes (featuring Lash Envy Volumizing Mascara)
  • Curled, Conditioned Lashes (featuring False Eyelashes Plush Mascara)
  • Beyond Long Lashes (featuring Beyond long Maximum Length Mascara)Also don’t miss the downloadable step-by-step application tips and bloopers! video. [We would also love to send you a sample of Prescriptives’ best selling False Eyelashes Plush Mascara, so please send us your address and we will get that right to you.] Looking forward to seeing what you think of Lash Finder!
    PR Representative

Oh yes. My life is now complete. An interactive video to help me find my lash look. My husband would think I’d grown a caterpiller on each eyelid. Naomi, I don’t think you want to know what I think of Lash Finder. I can’t find my keys half the time but there’s no doubt anyone would fail to find my lashes with this truly awesome product. Let’s see, keys or eyelashes? Eyelashes or keys? Which do I really care about? Do people really care about this stuff? Why do people persist in infesting my inbox with this pablum? Now you see what fashion blogging is really about. Yep, my name is at the elbow of the industry’s top movers and shakers.

Boy, I’d hate to have the job of pushing this stuff out. It’d almost be as bad as telephone solicitation. You know, some products really offend me. I’m offended that scarce planetary resources are used in their making to say nothing of the toxic load they incur. Is it worth it? A hundred years from now, they will need the resources that companies have so callously expended today. Do you ever feel this way? Sometimes when I’m at a convenience store and see some of this plastic junk, I’m offended they polluted the planet to do it -to say nothing of it eventually ending up in the landfill or knowing some bird or tortoise will end up choking on it, so I sure don’t like to find it in my inbox.

Actually, before I’d totally gone off my rocker (now I’m just feeding on it) I had meant to tell you about a PR pitch I got a couple of weeks ago that I thought was pretty cool. This PR person actually went to the trouble of looking at my amazon wish list (most don’t even bother looking at the blog to see if I’d even be interested in their product). They bought me an item and sent it to me along with their catalog. Now that is way beyond what most PR people do. True, it was a low cost item but the pitch worked. Said person sent me a tablet called $hit List. See? I’ve even used it.

Anyway, the company is called I have a coupon code for you too. It’s X6715. Better hurry. It expires November 30th.

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  1. Gini says:

    Never are you funnier than when you are vexed. I don’t wish such moods on you, but I certainly think you make the world a much better place when you vent. I hope you cheer yourself up as much as you make me laugh. The last mind-boggling solicitation I received was an offer for a camouflage Santa Hat, presumably a replica of the one Santa wears when he delivers presents in war-torn countries. I still can’t fathom the mind that thinks up such stuff.

  2. Helen B says:

    I love that they have a bloopers video. For hilariously mis-applied lashes, I presume (didn’t bother watching to find out).

    Who knew PR could be such fun?!

  3. bethany says:

    I am offended by birthday party gift bags. A plastic bag filled with cheap, crappy, ugly useless noisemakers or candy which will end up in the garbage and then for all eternity in a landfill somewhere.

  4. Helen says:

    I was hoping the bloopers reel would include someone jabbing themselves in the eye with a mascara wand, but no such luck. Would’ve made my day. There, now karma has a new target.

  5. ioanna says:

    Oh I feel better knowing that I am not alone in feeling angry about all this useless stuff wasting our resources and filling our landfills for no reason at all…
    I get like this on the rare occasion when I buy sugar cereal…
    Oh and regarding the birthday gift bags, I just went to a wedding that was full of that…So so sad.
    And yes, word pollution is toxic too. Brain pollution bad.
    Coincidentally I just read this post by Wired editor on the whole PR/email annoyance.
    Much fun.

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