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Unearthed evidence (humor and sarcasm)
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Eric H
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 7:10 pm    Post subject: Unearthed evidence (humor and sarcasm) Reply with quote

I recently discovered secret photographs that clearly document the beneficial effects of CPSIA.

This completely unretouched photo clearly shows the dangerous world we lived in prior to the Act.


You can see from this closeup that she sure finds that lead to be TA-STEE!


This photo shows the wonderful and safe world we live in now:


Don't you all feel so much safer?
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Kathleen F.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

uh, no offense but for this to be accurate, there'd be NO TOYS in that last photos. And no clothes. She'd be nekkid. But don't fix that. That's all I'd need, to be charged with child porn.
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Teijo
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is true that if the war on toys and clothes plays out as planned, legitimate manufacturers may go bankrupt. However, new black and gray markets should soon emerge to cater to the needs of those prone to hypothermia, and of adventurous parents who enjoy taking risks with their children.

The prohibition last century was a wonderful time for entrepreneurs who sold e.g. instant grape juice kits with detailed instructions on what _not_ to do in order to not end up with illegal alcohol. Ingenious people will probably once again devise ingenious ways to not have to go cold in the winter, and to remain entertained.

One possible way for designers, manufacturers and stores to survive would be to become artists, art manufacturers and art galleries. To protect uneducated clients who might otherwise try to wear or otherwise use the art items, they might of course have to be marked with tags that say something like:

"THIS IS ART.
IT IS NOT MEANT FOR HUMAN USE.
KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
AND ADULTS.
AND PETS
AND ALL LIVING THINGS.
DON'T EAT.
DON'T WEAR.
DON'T TOUCH.
THIS IS ART."

One side benefit of this approach is that art items require no ugly sewn labels in scratchy places. Another is that they may contain or be made of just about anything, including lead bronze and crystal. This should make life much easier for the artists, who will once again be free to choose from an array of materials not available to them since our great-grandmothers were young, wild and free.

Better yet, people are often willing to pay much more for art than for mundane items like clothes and toys. Especially when they're cold and bored.
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Valerie Burner
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhhh, humor! Yes! I love it! Let's keep this thread for entertainment purposes, so we can take a break from the seriousness once in a while! Thanks for the laughs!
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Eric H
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, already. I have already done the "No toys" pic, but it means creating arms from scratch. This was my first attempt at using Gimp, and now I'm certain that the name applies to the user as well as the app.



I suspect that she should not be smiling.

@Teijo - that was inspired. Bored and cold: we need a photograph of an obviously bored and cold child that we can wrap the words "novo ordo seclorum" around.
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J C Sprowls



Joined: 25 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Should she even have teeth?

Aren't plasticizers (i.e. pthalates) used in dental and orthodontic applications, too? What about the latex paint on the walls of the house, or the "durable finish/childproof" polyurethane on the floors?

Seriously...

Take a walk through the house. Make an itemized list of everything that contains or was manufactured by plastics, solvents or metals.

Now, cross off the list anything that might have touched a lead- or pthalate-"ridden" device somewhere in its manufacture. If you don't know, consider it a "dead" item and remove it from the list. Then, explore your alternatives for each item removed from the list.

What can you live without? What can you stand to improve? When can you tolerate purchasing the replacement?

Perform this mental exercise at your doctor's office, the hospital, the grocery store, etc.

Now, this is a slight exaggeration. At this time, the lobbyists are backpedaling and ensuring us that all of this is limited to children's products. But, this is the danger and responsibility of accepting legislation. It establishes precedence which will be referred to when creating future legislation.

My issue has - and, always will be - what is the problem that needs to be managed? And, then, research it. Who else has encountered the same problem? And, what did they do to bring it under management?
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mollyodesigns
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can I just say how happy I am that I no longer work in PR for Dow Chemical (HUGE supplier of plastics)! You couldn't pay me enough money to be back there right now!
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Lisa Bloodgood
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So we'll all send our inventory to 3rd world countries, right? Kind of like how dioxin is banned here but used in 3rd world countries. Then all those people in poverty will finally have clothes and shoes to wear.

Wink
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa B wrote:
So we'll all send our inventory to 3rd world countries, right? Kind of like how dioxin is banned here but used in 3rd world countries. Then all those people in poverty will finally have clothes and shoes to wear.

Wink


Great idea! I should get on that!!! I'm only joking. LOL.

It reminds me of that movie Baby Mama where she is talking about surrogacy and says "so we don't have women from third world countries carrying our babies for little money, right" and the owner of the agency pauses and makes a note and then starts talking again. LOL. If you haven't seen it, it is pretty funny.
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Eric H
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, it is quite likely to be illegal to take your inventory, which will be worth bupkis on 10 Feb, and sell it overseas.

So perhaps your inventory will be worth bupkis-squared on 10 Feb.
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Eric H
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we're all missing the problem here. What's the problem? Children keep putting their little mouths on our perfectly good, lead-encrusted toys. Congress has looked at this from only one angle and determined that the lead is the problem. What if we all agreed that the children are the problem?

I mean, think about it. No kids, no problem. An economist named Coase figured this out: it takes two people to create a nuisance. One guy has a smokestack, some other guy lives downwind. Take away the guy downwind from the guy running a power plant, and there's nobody to complain, thus no nuisance. Same thing with the lead and kids.

So, on Feb 10, when you're sitting there looking at that idling sewing machine, trying to figure out how to sell it, you might think about sewing some snotty kid's mouth shut with it.

[deepest apologies to Prof. Coase for abusing him in this way]
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Kathleen F.
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know you're kidding Eric but one of the speakers in that CPSC Nov 6th lead meeting, actually suggested that one solution was modifying children's behaviors and should be required. Seriously.
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Esther
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well when health insurance companies will cover birth control and sterilization and not the other, it makes you wonder.....
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Eric H
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excuse me, but if children are eating lead paint, doesn't that behavior correct itself? I mean, eventually? I guarantee it's going to be more effective than anything that I ever tried.
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lance t
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa B wrote:
So we'll all send our inventory to 3rd world countries, right? Kind of like how dioxin is banned here but used in 3rd world countries. Then all those people in poverty will finally have clothes and shoes to wear.

Wink

but according to the law we cant export it unless it is certified.
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