A couple of weeks ago, Yahoo featured a website called Dress Kevin. I thought it was a riot. Kevin admits to being a fashion novice saying
One day, I had to face the facts: I had no idea how to dress myself. After going through old yearbooks and photographs, I came to the stunning realization that I needed serious help with my wardrobe. So, at first I did what most people would do. I went to others for advice. It was good, but limited.
So, I turned to the Internet. I put pictures of all my clothes up for everyone to see, and I’m asking for comments and suggestions for how to wear my clothes, and what to wear. This is where you come in: every day, I want you to vote on what I should wear for all my daily activities. I work a full-time job, and I have plenty of things to do afterwards, all of which require delicate clothes planning. First impressions are everything, right?
Kevin will literally wear what visitors vote on. Some outfits he’s worn have been hilarious. Anyway, Kevin piqued my interest because -in spite of all public myth to the contrary- people who work in fashion day in, day out tend to be clueless dressers. In fact, one of the problems I have in meeting people is that they feel like they have to be all dolled up which makes me look pretty bad. I’m clueless about clothes. I’m into fashion from a professional standpoint but personally, dressing well comes last on my list of priorities. For example, Kevin has tons of shirts for you to vote on. Here are my shirts:
See? Mine are utter simplicity. All of the shirts in my winter wardrobe are black and long sleeved with the labels cut out (labels drive me wild, they feel like razor blades on my back neck). Still, if you like, you can vote on which long sleeved black shirt you think I should wear tomorrow.
Kevin also has loads of slacks which is just too complicated for me. Here’s a picture of my pants:
My pants are all too big; I tend to dress shapeless because it seems that most jeans makers these days are all cutting for camel-toes. Ick! I do have one pair of slacks (black) that I rarely wear because they don’t leave much to the imagination and I think they make me look too thin.
Kevin also has a bunch of socks that he needs help matching to his outfits. In my opinion, my socks are easier to match.
Still, I’ve always said that I’m so clueless fashion-wise that if my socks match, it’s a happy coincidence. The socks I’m wearing this morning were not so happy (I’m wearing these because these were the thickest ones I could find in my husband’s sock drawer).
The only area I beat Kevin is in coats. Kevin is a wimp with only 5 jackets and coats. I must have about 50. Okay, not literally 50 but at last count -before I moved and purged, I had over 30 easily. I don’t like to be cold plus, I’m a coat maker by trade. I posted plenty of coat photos in the past so I’ll just skip that for now.
Kevin also has tons of accessories. Wow, I thought accessories were strictly a girly thing. Again, my selection of accessories is streamlined. My choices are limited to slinkies which I wear as bracelets. Below are shown my set of brass slinkies. Aren’t they pretty?
In my opinion, slinkies in general are vastly under rated. Everybody should have slinkies. I keep about 3 or 4 of them in my office in different places. I’ve found them to be a real crowd pleaser. I like to wear the brass slinkies to business functions because I get bored very easily. Also, I’m too shy to talk to anybody so my accessories cum toys also serve as conversation pieces. Most adults can’t resist playing with them if I pull them off and pass them around.
Kevin also has shoes. I don’t. Since I don’t want to send my readers running screaming from the room, I’ve graciously omitted photographing mine. I hope you appreciate that.
If you curious about my summer wardrobe, I can summarize that by saying that I wear khaki shorts and white A-shirts (“wife-beaters”). If I’m dressing up, I may wear one of the colored ones (pink, blue or black).
I hope I’ve successfully illustrated that a lot of people who work in fashion are the farthest thing you can get from a fashion plate. The only ones worse than me are the ones who think they can dress…oh my. I knew two really bad dressers. One was a sewing supervisor who only had two styles. Either she dressed like a square dancer (complete with petticoats, I kid you not) or a prostitute -down to the fishnet hose. To amuse myself one Halloween, I dressed as a square dancing whore (she didn’t catch on). The other really bad dresser I knew was a production supervisor who always wore bows. It looked ridiculous because she was probably 60 or so. She wore bows on everything. It was hideous. So, on another Halloween that I worked there, I came dressed in bows (no mystery to why I was written up constantly I suppose). I had them in my hair, pinned to my shoulders, at the center front, at my back waist, on my socks, shoes -everywhere. She did catch on to this and never wore bows again.
Happy New Year!