Boy’s B-day

The boy is 18 today so maybe now I’ll have to call him the man. His attaining majority won’t change things much since his prognosis hasn’t. Still, a friend and I were joking that surely he’s cured now since one only hears of autistic children…as tho attaining the age of majority cured it or something. Mike is just high-functioning enough to get into trouble but not high-functioning to the extent that he’s latched onto a perseveration that’ll help him make his way through life. That’s what sewing did for me. He hasn’t found his niche. Still, he has another year of school to go, then who knows? There’s nothing out there for young autistic adults in the way of job training, programs or assisted living. As I said, I don’t see things changing much around here.

Since he’s technically an adult -and it’s a big deal for him too, I tried to start new and appropriate for adulthood b-day rituals. One, I took him out to dinner last night. He was a doll and went veggie. I love it when he does that because it’s his way of doing something nice for me -and it was m’s-day too. We got desert and ate everything. Anyway, tonight I made him blueberry pancakes for dinner but he was unimpressed. I’m very surprised (but full). I thought everybody liked blueberry pancakes for supper. When I was a kid, I made pancakes for supper all the time. Sometimes waffles too. When I say that people assume I had no menu oversight but that’s not true if it was my dad’s idea (mom split years before). Well, I’ve decided I’m going to make pancakes again next year on his birthday.

And he hates the gift I got him (playstation2) but he hasn’t done anything else but play with it since he took it out of the box on saturday.

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  1. Josh says:

    Nice to hear your M day and B day adventure. I love breakfast at dinner myself. Soy sausage with whole wheat biscuits and orange juice. And if only I’d stop making pancakes in the middle of the night I might not have such a huge ass :)

    The whole Playstation and Nintendo craze escaped me when I was a kid. I heard everyone else talking about it, how fun it was. All I knew is we had no money to buy it and that was that. I didn’t have any friends who had it. My cousin had Nintendo but he would grab the control just as soon as I got started good. Now as an adult I consider seeing what all the fuss was/is about by buying one. But then there is the fear that I will become an addict, playing until my fingers fall off. I allowed myself to play SIMS on my computer last year and I actually played it off and on for a few weeks and got bored with it very quickly. So if that’s any indication…

  2. Cinnamon says:

    My boyfriend’s youngest brother has autism, along with a range of other learning disabilities. It isn’t cheap, but he’s attending college here at National Louis University. Like your son, he’s high-funtioning enough that he can get by but not high-functioning enough that he’ll ever be fully self-sufficient. If anyone ever needed a weather analyzer, he would be great at that, but he doesn’t have the math/science/reading skills necessary to become a meteoroligist.

    Through his college programs (PACE program) he has achieved some great inter-personal skills that we’d mostly given up on seeing him develop. He can do small-talk now (mostly a memorized set of comments to make, but it works well for him), he loves working and even though he doesn’t understand money he’s delighted everytime he deposits a paycheck. It’s not autistic specific, but he might find it useful, if you can afford it.

  3. La BellaDonna says:

    I don’t know if it will do you much good at this point, but I would like to bring your attention to a book by Gretchen Mertz: Help For The Child With Asperger’s Syndrome: A Parent’s Guide To Negotiating The Social Service Maze (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2004). ISBN: 1843107805 (paperback, 238 pages).

    I’d have to backtrack to see if she covers your particular concerns in this book, but if she doesn’t, she’s going to have to in the future, for her son. If you’d be interested in getting in touch with her, let me know, and I’ll find out if it’s OK (I work with her, so I have easy access).

  4. Jody says:

    You so remind me of a friend of mine. Your story reveals a similar relationship with your son that she has with hers. Makes me smile :)

  5. Anette says:

    My son has asperger’s. Luckily he is really gifted in math and natural sciences. He participates in math contests and has joined a “scientists club”, where they do lots of practical experiments. He dreams of studying quantum physics, and I do everything in my power to help him get there. I believe he could make a decent living for himself as an adult if I can just get him safely through his teen years.

    I do hope your son finds “his thing” soon, too. I wish you both all the best!

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